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moral 12/15/2002
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able
to get to the top of that tree, " sighed the turkey. "But
I just haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble
on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed
with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and
found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach
the first branch of the tree. The next ...
0 Comments, 6 Views,
100 Votes
,6.43 Score
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Another Limerick 11/30/2002
On Saturn the sexes are three
Which is quite awkward you'll agree
To perform Con Brio
It requires a Trio
and it even takes two for a pee
2 Comments, 27 Views,
43 Votes
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alien sex study 11/27/2002
There is a couple that's spending a relaxing summer night
at their cabin in the middle of nowhere when a spaceship
lands in their front yard. Out from the spaceship come an
alien couple. They introduce themselves and say they are
exploring the cosmos and would like to know more about humans.
The earthlings invite them inside where they all swap stories
about each others homeworlds. Well ...
0 Comments, 26 Views,
136 Votes
,6.58 Score
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BEDROOM GOLF 11/21/2002
The Rules Of Bedroom Golf
<br>
1. Each player should furnish his own equipment for play
- normally one club
and two balls.
<br>
2. Play on the course should be approved by the owner of the
hole.
<br>
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the
hole and keep
the balls out.
<br>
4. For most effective play, the club should ...
0 Comments, 6 Views,
162 Votes
,7.88 Score
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Male Rules (Lady's Take Note) We always hear 11/21/2002
<br>
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's
up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't
hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
<br>
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
<br>
1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing
of the tides. Let it be.
<br>
1. Don't cut your ...
0 Comments, 29 Views,
221 Votes
,8.45 Score
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Scottish Footie 2006 11/21/2002
Fast forward to 2006 - it is just before Scotland v Brazil
at the next World Cup Group game. Ronaldo goes into the Brazilian
changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this
game. We know
it's important but it's only Scotland. They're sh*te and
we can't be bothered".
Ronaldo looks at them and says ...
0 Comments, 18 Views,
27 Votes
,1.87 Score
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Muffin joke 11/19/2002
Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns, and
says to the other "man it's hot in this oven". The other muffin
turns as says "HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN!"
0 Comments, 8 Views,
80 Votes
,0.03 Score
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women and cows 11/12/2002
Why did god give women one more brain cell than a cow?---So
they dont shit on the floor when you play with their tits
0 Comments, 3 Views,
139 Votes
,4.21 Score
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Bar Joke 11/11/2002
A man walked into a bar and sat at the counter down a ways from
a lady. When the bartender came over to him he said he wanted
to buy that douche-bag over there a drink. The bartender
said excuse me, but we treat women like ladies in here. The
guy said OK, but I still want to buy that douche-bag over
there a drink. The bartender figured the only way to shut
this guy up was to get a drink ...
0 Comments, 3 Views,
85 Votes
,1.48 Score
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POKER VIBRATOR PHONE 11/8/2002
A GUY PICKED UP HOME SOME CHICKS FOR THREESOME.WHILST THEY
WEREIN SESSION HIS MOBILE PHONE STARTED RINGING AND INTERRUPTING
HIS FUN GAME SO HE SET TO VIBRATOR LEVEL5.AFTER HE FINISHED
WITH THESE GIRLS ONE OF JUST PICKED
HAND SET WRAPPED A CONDOM SHEE ROUND IT AND INSERTED IT INTO
HER CUNT.THE GUY MADE A FRANTIC EFFORT TO TRACE THE CULPRIT
AND THEY ALL READILY ALLOWED HIM TO SEARCH THEM ...
2 Comments, 42 Views,
91 Votes
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firm it up 11/7/2002
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his
wife and pinched her on the butt and said, "You know if you
firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." While this
was on the edge of intolerable, she controlled her anger
and replied with silence.
The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the
breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could
get rid of ...
0 Comments, 11 Views,
144 Votes
,8.06 Score
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rednecks new pickup truck 11/3/2002
billy bob ask earl "how did you get a new truck"
earl" sue ellen gave it to me"
billy bob " why did sue ellen give you aher truck"
well she drove me out to the woods striped off all her clothes
and told me to take what i wanted so i took the truck"
billy bob " good thing you diddnt take the clothes they would
have never fir you"
0 Comments, 18 Views,
49 Votes
,4.05 Score
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WIFE'S NEW JOB 10/31/2002
Harry came home with the bad news from his doctor, "Either
you stop work immediately or you will be dead" the doctor
told him. Harry and his wife were like most people they had
bills and hadn't saved much money. His wife Amy was very
pretty but not smart at all. After numerous attemps at finding
and keeping a job both of them realized that there was only
one job she was really good at, and ...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
246 Votes
,0.10 Score
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Shemale golfer 10/25/2002
Why a shemale golfer refuse to play with any male golfer?
Ans....She already have two balls of her own to play with
ahd can get a hole-in-one anytime she like!!
2 Comments, 76 Views,
50 Votes
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Playing a 10/20/2002
A man has been on a deserted island for ten years. One day
he see's a beautiful woman in a wet suit swim onto his beach.
She comes up to him and asks, "when was the last time you had
a drink?" "It's been ten years", he replies. She zips open
a pocket on her wet suit and pulls out a flask of brandy. The
man takes a big swig and say's he is in heaven. "When was the
last time you had a ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
100 Votes
,4.68 Score
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infection 10/19/2002
Why does God give women yeast infections?
<br>
<br>
<br>
So they know what its like to live with an irritated CUNT!
0 Comments, 18 Views,
131 Votes
,1.10 Score
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family reunion 10/5/2002
At a family reunion, two grandsons decide to play a prank
on grandpa. So they drop a viagra in his drink. After grandpa
drinks it, he tells the boys that he needs to go pee. When
he comes back, he is soaking wet from the waist down. The
boys ask him what happened to him. He replies, "When I pulled
it out to pee, it didn't look it was mine, so I put it back."
0 Comments, 80 Views,
92 Votes
,7.07 Score
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Needs a Prom Dress 9/30/2002
Jenny came home one day all excited, " Daddy, daddy I got
asked to the prom by a really cute guy today. Wouls you please
buy me a prom dress?"
"Sure, " was her fathers reply, "just as you get down on
your knee's and suck old papa's cock!"
" Dad you're disgusting!" she screamed stomping out of
the room.
<br>
The next day the same scenario went down. She came home,
begged her ...
0 Comments, 163 Views,
137 Votes
,0.16 Score
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gross 9/30/2002
whats grosser than gross? Finishing your bloody mary and
finding a string at the bottom of your glass
0 Comments, 10 Views,
111 Votes
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3 Mice 9/28/2002
3 mice were in a bar, drinking and bragging about how tough
they were. After downing a shot of bourbon and slamming
the glass on the bar, the 1st mouse said:"When I see a mousetrap,
I lay on my back, set it off with my foot, catch the bar in my
teeth, bench press it 30 times to build up an appetite, then
snatch the cheese and eat it". The 2nd mouse, after downing
2 shots of tequila and ...
2 Comments, 71 Views,
178 Votes
,8.17 Score
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rectum stretcher 9/22/2002
While I was flying down the road yesterday (only ten mph
over the limit), I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting
on top of a bridge. The cop pulled me over, He walked up to
the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?". I replied, "I'm
late for work." "Oh yeah, " said the cop, "what do you do?",
I responded, "I'm a rectum stretcher." The cop said "What...a
rectum stretcher, and what does a ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
88 Votes
,8.92 Score
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:Best Goalkeeper 9/18/2002
During the recently held World Cup Soccer a team of jury
was formed to decide the Best Goalkeeper. Members of the
jury deliberated a lot anf ultimately decided about the
best goalkeeper as woman. On being asked to name the reasons
they had the following to say:-
<br>
"Look you can't put the balls in how so hard you may try"
0 Comments, 11 Views,
733 Votes
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5 floors? 9/9/2002
5 ladies were hangin´out in Vegas late @ night. And suddenly
they saw a hotel with a big neon sign: "Hotel for women only".
They all said in a choir: "WOAW! Let's check this shit out"!
So they went into the lobby and walked infront of the handsome
male receptionist. And curiously asked what this place
"for women only" was all about.
The recepionist replied:
-"Well, Why not take the ...
0 Comments, 13 Views,
305 Votes
,1.26 Score
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Why women don't fart 6/29/2002
Women don't fart because they can't keep their mouth shut
long enough to build up pressure.
5 Comments, 42 Views,
626 Votes
,7.32 Score
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Little Red Riding Hood 6/25/2002
Little Red Riding Hood is getting ready to go to her grandmother?s
house when her mother tells her ?Now you be careful Little
Red Riding Hood, the Big Bad Wolf is out there and he?s gonna
make you pull down your little red panties so he can fuck
the shit out of you.? With this Little Red Riding Hood says,
?Relax mom, I have it taken care of, you don?t need to worry, ?
and she takes off out ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
90 Votes
,7.51 Score
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Nursery School 6/13/2002
3 little boy's are on their first day at nursery school.
The only thing that scare's them id the stern teacher "Now
you are all at big school you will all talk like adults" she
growled. She asked the first boy what he did at the weekend?
"I went to my Nana's Miss" he replied. "It's not Nana's it's
grandmothers, talk like an adult" she replied.
She asked the second boy what he did at the ...
0 Comments, 26 Views,
658 Votes
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another blonde joke... 6/5/2002
Whats the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
When you slap the mosquito it stops sucking...
0 Comments, 2 Views,
268 Votes
,7.00 Score
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silent treatment 5/30/2002
A husband and wife were having problems one evening and
were giving one another the silent treatment. Being a heavy
sleeper, the man realized that he would need his wife to
wake him at 5:00 AM the next morning for an early morning
business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first
to break the silence (AND LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." <br>
...
0 Comments, 18 Views,
108 Votes
,7.08 Score
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what do you have when you hold a green ball in each hand? 5/28/2002
a great hold on the jolly green giant...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
144 Votes
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God and Eve 5/27/2002
One day Eve was washing her beaver in the river, when all
of a sudden God spoke down to Eve and said ?Eve you shouldn?t
be washing in that river I will never be able to get the smell
out of those fish.
4 Comments, 60 Views,
34 Votes
,2.97 Score
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